Kathy Vahey

June 27, 1943 – April 13, 2011

Katherine L. “Kathy” Monagle

Monagle, Katherine L. Kathy (nee Vahey), fortified with the Sacraments of Holy Mother Church, Wed., April 13, 2011. Beloved wife of Bill Monagle; dear mother of Mary and Dennis (Sarah) Monagle; dear grandmother of Thea, Eliza and Claire Monagle; dear sister of Tom (Shirley) Vahey and Mary Juliani; dear sister-in-law of John B. (Patricia) Monagle and Marilyn (John) Barry; our dear aunt, cousin and friend. Services: Funeral from KUTIS AFFTON Chapel, 10151 Gravois, Monday, April 18, 9:30 a.m. to St. Justin Martyr Catholic Church for 10 a.m. Mass. Services conclude at church. In lieu of flowers, contributions appreciated to the National Kidney Foundation . Visitation Sunday 3-8 p.m.

Published in St. Louis Post-Dispatch on April 17, 2011

From Kathy’s husband Bill Monagle. August 21, 2011

We are indeed filled with sorrow and we miss Kathy terribly.  Although she had many devasting ailments, some life long, we felt that we had good years ahead of us.  She was the same high spirited "character" your classmates knew right to the end.  Most of all though she had a profound goodness that made her loved by all she met.  Kathy always did good things for people.  Never have I known her to bring negative or hurtful things to anyone whose life she touched. I wish Kathy and I could go to the reunion together as we were planning. The video collage below was put together for Kathy’s services.  To view the video, click on the icon immediately below.

KATHY VAHEY MONAGLE VIDEO TRIBUTE

Please note that whether you are able to open the video link below may depend on the presence of up-to-date video software installed on your computer. Please also note that the video file is LARGE and will take a bit of time to open. Patience is a virtue, of which Kathy apparently had plenty. And finally, don’t neglect to turn your sound ON while viewing the video. It contains music as well as photos.

To view the video click → HERE

Kathy Vahey Monagle – Words of Remembrance

Delivered by Kathy’s son Dennis Monagle at Kathy’s Memorial Service

First of all, I wanted to introduce myself. I'm Dennis Monagle and I'm Kathy's son. Most of you already know me, or Kathy has spoken about me. Yes, I'm the military guy. My sister is the beautiful nurse. I wanted to personally thank everyone for coming today. My father, sister and I know that friends and family have come great distances to be here - from both coasts and on short notice. It means the world to us to have your support and it is tremendous to know how much you love and care for Kathy.

I could speak all day and reminisce about Kathy. We could spend days, actually, laughing and talking; sharing Kathy stories. I did want to take a few moments today to talk about the amazingly extraordinary life of Kathy. Not extraordinary in the sense of she climbed mountains or swam the English Channel. She was extraordinary in the way she treated people and shared her life with people - the way she transformed people's lives. That is my theme when trying to capture Kathy’s extraordinary life this morning.

I do not want her recent illness or sickness over the recent years to be her defining moments. They are not. Her chronic illness is one of the ugly reasons we are here today. If her sickness wouldn’t have taken her now, it would have been shortly later. Kathy's spirit was trapped in a damaged body that could only take her so far. This is not her defining moment.

I'm not sure if I was the best choice to speak about Kathy's life. I've only known her for just under 40 years. Time has gone very quickly. They say as you get older, life begins to fly by. How true that is, and is in fact very poignantly apparent to me now as I stand at a funeral mass to eulogize my mom. I'm well past the age when I realized my mom was an actual person: not just someone who was responsible for raising and caring for me - that took me until my late teens and maybe even into my 20s. But even now, and after these past few days, I am still realizing how full and multi-faceted Kathy's life was - and how many people's lives she deeply touched. She was more than my mom. She was a surrogate mother to my friends growing up. She was my dad's best friend and partner; My sister's mother and best friend. An adoring sister, and sister in law. She was a good cousin to have and a caring aunt. Kathy was a daughter who absolutely loved her mother and grievously missed her father who died when she was 15. She mourned the loss of her mother, Maisy for the last 11 years. Kathy was a very good and loyal friend to everyone she met and best friends to many. Her friends are too numerous to thank individually. There are too many, so I thank you all now for your friendship to her. It energized her and kept her alive. Thank you. She was also a special friend to Alex, Noah and Luke. She loved you boys very much.

I wanted to give you a brief history of her life. She was born in 1943 to Joe and Mary Vahey. She was greeted by her brother Tom and sister Mary. She also grew up with many, many cousins. So many, that honestly some of the names escape me today. I do remember visiting MA over the years while growing up and seeing how close she was to her family. Whether they be a cousin, auntie, niece, nephew or whatnot, it didn't matter. She was Kathy and she was home. It probably would not surprise anyone to know that Kathy Vahey was voted "funniest" in Natick High School's 1961 graduating Class. She met my father at a US Army function and later married him in May of 1968. He took her to the South, and I mean South, so Bill could go to graduate school. I wasn't there, but it's hard for me to imagine red-headed Kathy with her Boston accent who married some cowboy from Oregon and moved to Athens, Georgia to live in student housing, then a trailer park. However, they were a happy little family. Mary came along in late 1969 and I completed the family in July of 71. It is no surprise that Kathy and Bill still have friends from those days in GA.

Following my dad's Master in Food Science in 72, we moved to lovely Bryan TX where my dad did further school and fellowship. We lived in an apartment complex, and I do remember times were tight as we struggled to make ends meet. I remember being woken up in the pre-dawn darkness and being put in the back of a Pinto with my sister to be driven around on my parents' paper delivery route. Times were tight, but even then I realized how much my mother loved my family. We briefly moved to IL for my dad's first "real job,” but were soon transferred to some little town in IN where they ended up staying from 1978-2004. Fort Wayne became our home; that's where my sister and I grew up. Most of my memories of my mother are from that time. She was our mentor, protector, coach, and guide. I remember several times that she lit us up – Navy speak for being in “hot water.” Although Kathy was quick to flame us, she was the first one to put the fire out. I remember not liking being in trouble with her, but if Kathy had something to say, or a lesson to teach she did it with no gloves on.

She was also our partner in crime. If we thought we could convince dad to get something for us, we would get mom on our side to run our scheme or scam. If she had spare cash, it ended up in our pockets. She was the champion of our ideas and plans. My parents were involved in all of our school activities and both worked hard so we could attend good schools. My mom worked at the St. Charles Elementary school from when I was a student there until she retired as the Director of Religious Education in 2004. My dad, not ready to retire yet, had to take a transfer to St. Louis. After almost 30 years in Fort Wayne, it was a difficult transition for Kathy. However, in the last 6 or 7 years, they have become virtual locals. They have met several good friends and GK once again found herself working at a Church again and working for a pastor. She couldn't stay away. She has to be involved in Church. She has to be around the inner workings and administration side of the Church. She has to give priests a hard time once in a while. She loved it and saw it as more than a job. It was a calling for her.

I left home in 1991 to never really return. I went to college, then onto a job in a different city and then into the Navy in 1998. I have spent the last 13 years either in flight school, deployed or otherwise with my hands full. My family became complete in 2001 when I married my wife Sarah and became the father of Thea and Eliza. Claire came soon later to complete my family. Kathy became the grandmother to 3 of the world's best kids. She was then known as Grandma Kathy, or GK as I call her to this day. Not only was GK a fantastic mother, she has been an unbelievably good grandmother. She loved my girls as she loved my sister and I - unconditionally. No matter how far we strayed or how geographically apart we were, GK would be there waiting in no matter what conditions. Unconditional love is how I will remember my mother. My kids will forever remember GK, and I as remind them and imitate her over the years to come, they will have fond memories and know they were greatly loved.

Kathy has made tremendous friends over the years in many different places. These are life-long friends and their lives are intertwined. Kathy had a way of making sure of that. Kathy was so multi-faceted and touched so many people, that I am still realizing it. It floors me.

I can talk for hours more, but I won't. There is too much to say. We will all remember Kathy in our own and different ways. I do know that life will not be the same without her. The hurt and pain of her passing will ease with time I know, but her memory will not fade. She has touched us all and changed us all in indelible ways. She is with all of our friends that have passed before us and is waiting for us. In the meantime, she will be watching over all of us and interceding for us when she can and when we least expect it. We all know that she is good at that. Sleep well knowing that Kathy is certainly in a better place and will be your guardian angel of sorts.

Kathy, I hope you now know everything you wanted to know and see how wonderful the grand plan really is. We are privileged to have shared your life. We will miss you.

Mom, I know you were fascinated with my navy stuff, so I will indulge you one last time. GK, I salute you, and you are cleared to return to base. We wish you fair winds and following seas, Mom. We love you.